Life has dealt me way too much to deal with at one time.
Now, I've always been fairly strong emotionally, but this, it just too much for me to handle.
For those of you who don't know, theres been some issues with my Dad lately, and he's not doing too well. Most of you know, and if you don't, I don't want you to hear it over my live journal.
I can't put a lot of stuff in here actually because I can't let most people see, but bottom line is, this is my graduation year, the supposed to be best year of my life, the one I'll never forget.

Well, I tell you. I'll NEVER forget this year. Worst year of my life. The shit with my mom, and now my dad. I don't think I can deal with another boy playing mind games, and my heart is gonna break at any second...

I'm almost done school. Thank god. End of this month. Feb 2nd is the last day of classes, then I have two exams on the 7th, and the 9th, and i'm finished. FUCK YEAH.

Brad Paisley and Terri Clark in one week exactly. I'm so happy to go to that with Kelly! Yee Haw!
I can get away from Chilliwack for a day.

After all is said and done, I'll have nothing here left and I will be moving to Calgary.
I don't need Chilliwack. I have no boyfriend holding me back, and my friends will be fine without me. My little brother is turning into an awesome young man, and I'm sure he can manage with me a province away. My mother can deal with herself, and she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself as well... So, as long as I don't fall in love with a boy, I'm outta here..........

Anyway, I'm done blabbing. Peace.

Well...
I've been told I don't update this enough.. I guess you guys really do enjoy listening to me bitch and complain eh?
Well.. the road trip to clearwater was great, even if it was only a short visit. I miss leah though. A lot.. *sigh*
I've been hanging with Courtney a lot though, and it's been really fun. I enjoy her company a lot, and it's really nice to have a really good girlfriend!

Uhmm... Hmm.. What else is new... I've been going to the hockey games a lot... been getting bitched for it actually... if I hear one more person bitch about who I talk to I'm gonna freak... Like my god, who's buisness is it, if I talk to somebody from the Cheifs, and what's the big fucking deal? I don't understand... It's not like they're all horrible diseased people... And I'm just really gettin tired of the rude comments people make about them.. Especailly when they're dissing me for talkin to them.. People can kiss my ass..

Uhmm, I'm doing fairly good in school.. all A's I think pretty much... except I might be failing math.. Hah. One extreme to another.. A - F.. Gotta love it. Not. I'm scared. If i fail, I don't grad, and I will die. I'm sure I'll pull through but, I still don't understand why Math is so hard for me this year.. It never used to be... I don't know...

Hmm.. what else.. Fuck, it's like after 9.. I'm so tired. I shoulda been in bed two hours ago. I think I'm just gonna crash pretty quick soon. I had homework. *Whoops* Well.. Oh well. It's only math. LOL. The class I failed most likely. God. I'm so stupid, I should just do it. I'm too tired though.

I'll just do it at lunch or something.. Hmm... Yeah.. well you know...

GOD guys are stupid too. I hate them. Well, not really but I just am really confused... I just hate when theres somebody i kinda like but then these other guys like me and I sorta like them too but I like the other guy more and it's like ahhh i dont wanna risk going out with one of the other guys, and having the guy i like the best come around ya know? GRR.
whatever... haha... i'm just gonna go with the flow, and see what happens...

PS
Going to Brad Paisley & Terri Clark
Jan 18th,
With Kelly Davis.<3

Well, I don't really know where to begin.
It's been so long it'd be impossible to spill all the details...

So I'll just start with recently.

My mom got her own place for the time being... It's not too bad, and I'm sorta getting used to driving in town.. I still dislike it though.

I've been hanging out with Courtney a lot and it's awesome, I love that girl a lot. It's been dope hanging out with her.

Works good.. I love it.. I'm getting closer with jess too which is amazing!! And leah's dope..

Uhmm I'm going on a roadtrip this saturday to Clearwater, HELL YEAH ROAD TRIP..

Uhmm, I'm still single, it still blows but meh, oh well.. Men are only complications.

Been playing my guitar a lot more lately...

Talked to Russell today, I love and miss him very much...

Gotta get touch ups on my tat with Rach really soon, and I miss her too...

Lately I've been thinking about Amy & Cori & Travis. I haven't talked to any of them in a long time and I hate how they neverp hone. Nobody ever calls. I dont call them either though so I guess it's sorta fair...

Uhmm.. What else...

OH Fire trucks were down my road today! Haha so idiots dumped half a hot car at the end of my road on the dyke and lit it on fire, so that was dope.. Not.. God dman fuck faces messin around with my road... GRRR

Uhmm yeah I duno thats' about it I guess, I don't feel like typing anymore so yeah. peace.

it's been too long i know.

can't really update everything that i've missed...
uhmm my cars on the road now..
insured until october. so thats exciting.
i got a job. at stream. so that sorta sucks, but hey it's money.
I started last monday, so it's my first weekend today and im too tired to do anything...
Uhmm...
Hmm...
I never talk to wade anymore. He called me once and asked to go out for coffee, i said it depended, so i thought he was gonna call me after his shower, but 45mins later when i called to his house, he took off with Kenny. So uhmm fuck him. I'm pretty pissed off. I'm sorry, but best friends don't do that, and he's not even my best friend, he WAS a big brother to me. Now he's just another person who doesn't have the time of day. I'm sorry, but I called him for a week & a half straight no call back ever. Finally almost 2 weeks later he gives me a call. That's bullshit. If he can call his g/f almost everyday he can bloody well take 10mins outta his day to call me. thats' what friends do, so obviously he's not willing to put in that sorta commitment.
Uhmm Rach is working now so that's good for her. She seems to enjoy it. I'm so proud of her.
Things have been weird between us though. She sits there and invites me out and has to repeat that "you are really invited" blah blah blah, and it's like well obviously you silly girl, otherwise you wouldn't have asked me to go. It's like she doesnt understand that I'm too tired, or maybe I'm just not into doing that particular thing. I duno, it almost seems as if she gets mad at me for not going and hanging out.
No offence, (especailly if your reading this rach) my idea of fun isn't watching you and your b/f and cori & travis going off, and watching poor lisa smoke all of her smokes because thats what she seems to do when shes drunk lol.. i love lisa. haha. she's dope.

uhmmmmm yeah. i duno. im tired, and i wanna watch a movie and then go to bed. i know i have such an interesting life. work all week, sleep allw eekend. oh well.

anyway, adios.

Hey Hey!
Well i spent time in emerg cause my eyes all sore and shit and that crap so yeah hot doctor, so worth the 4 & a half hour wait! hahahaha... uhmm not a lots new. boys suck, as always... but im not gonna let it bother me. i just do stuff i shouldn't do, although i dont regret it of course because everything is a learning experience.. and this certain thing was *extremly* fun so you know.... Uhmm.... yah...  i dont relaly remember what has all happened.. a few drunken nights, met a reallyc ool chick named Kristine... she's totally rad... saw ashley, haven't in a long time. Good memory's at Amy's house, as always, lots of fun at Wades... FUCK YEA YARROW DAYS THIS WEEKEND. gonna be a blast.

Rach looked beautiful in her gown for her grad. I almost cried. *Such a beautiful girl, inside & out.*

As much as I dont perticularly like thing artist, this is the new song I'm going to live by:

You held my hand and walked me home, I know
Why you gave me that kiss it was something like this it made me go oh ohh
You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go?
Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love
Guys are so hard to trust
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl?
The one who gives it all away

Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?
Did you think that it was somethin I was gonna do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way

Don't think that your charm and the fact that your arm is now around my neck
will get you in my pants so I'll have to kick your ass and make you never forget
I'm gonna ask you to stop, thought I liked you a lot, but I'm really upset
Get out of my head get off of my bed yeah thats what I said
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl, the one who, throws it all away

Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?
Did you think that it was somethin I was gonna do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way

This guilt trip that you put me on won't, mess me up I've done no wrong
Any thoughts of you and me have gone away

Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?
Did you think that it was somethin I was gonna do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way

Better off that way
I'm better off alone anyway

so yeah, thats what I think I'm going to do.
I'm not going to go after anyone, I find theres no point.
Everytime I seem to start falling for somebody, it always gets messed up... whether they move away, i lose interest, i do something to fuck it up, or the guy just has no interest right back, either way, it gets all screwed up, and I end up, not being hurt, but being extremly frusterated!!!!! and I'm sick of all the drama. It's summertime, and as much as I'd really like to spend it with one specail guy, I guess it'll be okay flirting with others...

I refuse to turn into one of those chicks that get drunk and fuck everyone they see. In fact, do anything remotely close to sleeping with somebody too...
I'll be patient, even though it's hard, and somebody, somewhere, some time, will meet me, and think to themselves "wow, i wanna be with her" and we'll fall in love and live happily ever after.... HAHAHAHA>. until I get knocked up and end up having 5 kids and living in a trailer park.. JUST KIDDING.. but on a serious note, I'm sure that eventually I'll find somebody I can date for a while, or even just see for a summer fling, and after summer or maybe half way through make something officail.

I just don't wanna rush into any relationship because that always screws it up. I like seeing people, so it's somewaht serious but not really and that if it ends it's not all "WHAT I THOUGHT WE WERE TOGETHER FOREVER" hahaha.. cause that sucks too, but yeah, I've sure typed a lot so adios...

So... I'm bored. I'm soaking wet from the rain. I'm tired as hell, and I just wish I could cuddle up and watch some movies with somebody, but haha everyones busy.. and I have a lot of stuff I gotta do anyway.

I've been pretty good lately though. Nothing too terribly bad has happened. Couple exciting, and uhmm entertaining things have happened. Whatever haha, I wouldn't go back in time and change anything..

All I know is I think people are finally starting to realize that I just am who I am, and that I say it like it is. I'm not a fake, and I am unique, and not like every other backstabbing, stuck up, skanky slutty, chick. (Most girls are, theres a select few that I love & adore that aren't like that)

Anyway, I'm going to go figure out whats going on tonight and all that jazz.. So Yeah, I'm gonna go.